Saigon Raiders continued their fine pre-season form with a morale-boosting 6-0 victory over a team known on the popular ‘Sport Easy’ smartphone application only as ‘LFC’ on Saturday.

Raiders looked strong from the off, with Mirko appearing from his summer slumber to grit his teeth between the sticks, whilst Pat captained the side featuring a number of Raiders old boys, notably Emmanuel on the left wing, Luke up top, and the ever dependable Danny Vo at left-back.

The Raiders dominated play in the early stages on the confusing An Thu pitch, and perhaps not surprisingly, it was Emmanuel who got the scores rolling with a fine finish after 11 minutes. Raider’s very own Carsten Jancker with hair, Jonas, doubled the score 7 minutes later with a fine finish, nonchalantly chipping the ball over the ‘keeper after shrugging off his marker who almost ended up in the boggy wetland area behind the goal frame.
On 20 minutes, Raiders extended their lead, after Emmanuel – doing his best reverse Riyad Mahrez impression – cut in on the left and drilled a shot through the hapless LFC ‘keeper. The 3-0 score line only served to wake the opposition up, however, and the Raiders were soon left clutching at their ankles following a number of questionable tackles by the boys in yellow. Luke feeling the most aggrieved after taking a cheap jab to the ribs from the LFC hatchet man. Pat led the protests and had a gentleman’s word with the referee, only for his concerns to seemingly fall on deaf ears.

29 minutes in and the Raiders added another to their tally. Emmanuel again beating the keeper from range. Luke this time providing the ammunition for Emmanuel to finish with relative ease. The remainder of the half was made up of a number of tactical substitutions, with Colin giving a run out to new boy, Eddie on the left-wing, Alex, Pierre, Victor, and Miquel – the latter spotting a new style of facial hair similar to that of the well-known TV personality, Toadfish Rebecchi from the Australian soap opera “Neighbours”.

Half time was welcomed by the usual team talk from Colin emphasizing the need to “get the minutes in and fitness levels up” over the result. Spurred on by the Chernobyl colored tra da in the red freezer box (what do they put in that stuff??) the Raiders dominated the early stages of the second half with a change in personnel giving the heroes of the first half some much needed rest on the sidelines. David replaced Arno at center half, Pierre was shifted out on to the left wing, and Alex slotted in nicely at left-back.

Half way through the second half, the heavens opened and a deluge of tropical rain hit the pitch. An impressive Hung, who had played up until this point with poise and grace was now at odds with nature, his stud-less shoes offering no hope to the floodwaters that quickly surrounded him. With the rain getting stronger, the ball then started to literally float in the sandy centre of the An Thu pitch. Calls to abandon the game never gathered pace, however, and the match continued at walking speed until the showers subsided.

27 minutes into the second half, Kim (the Korean Stanley Matthews) popped up from the right with that all important fifth goal, adding to his impressive return in pre-season of at least 2 goals. 10 minutes later, Ben, doing his best Ronaldinho vs Seaman (Brazil vs England WC 2002) impression completed the match tally, lobbing the ‘keeper from all of 35 yards. All in all, a good work out for the team, followed by some excellent beverages in Heart of Darkness after the final whistle.

What’s Vietnamese for “Howay the Lads”?

MOM – Emmanuel
Special Mention – Danny Chalk
Turkey – David