As a tour veteran I can safely say this was the funniest and most enjoyable tour ever and we didn’t do too badly at the football either.

Setting Off

As is customary with Raiders tours the team set off with the smallest squad possible just to make sure everyone got as tired as possible and injuries meant no subs but as the theme of our tours is “we don’t need no substitutes” anyway this was hardly a surprise. We did however manage to bring a cheerleading squad (well one) as Jones’ wife decided to see what all the fuss was about. Needless to say Jones will never be going on tour unaccompanied again.
Drinking started in earnest at around 1pm as Potter arrived at Hepburn’s apartment with the Heinekens. As Wik and Colbressi arrived more cans were purchased just to make sure we didn’t run out between district 4 and the airport you got the feeling it was going to be a standard tour.
All members of the squad duly arrived at the airport on time and the Raiders took their now customary seat at the airport departure bar where they can purchase the most expensive beers in Vietnam (is it actually Vietnam once you pass passport control? Hmm perhaps then they are reasonably priced by International standards). Anyway more cans were sunk and more purchased for the plane which had to be sneakily drunk because apparently BYO is not allowed on Philippine Airlines.

Arrival and night one.
We arrived in Manilla in good spirits (although they had not yet been purchased) and duly proceeded to the hotel. Perhaps the first of many surprises of the tour was the fact that at no point did we stop on that leg of the trip to purchase more beer. This can be attributed to the fact that everyone was too busy trying to find McDonalds.
Once everyone was settled in the team went to the official opening ceremony just in time to discover that it was finished and we had missed out on all the free flow beer. This as you can imagine did not go down to well with a rather thirsty squad (except Hepburn and Potter who had both raided the minibar before going out) however Colbressi and Schreiber managed to turn on the American charm and convince the barmaid that there was in fact one minute left of free flow time and we should be allowed at least one beer.
Ocon missed out on this as he had gone up to his room prior to hotel departure and was let behind. However Jones and other did do the decent thing and went back to find him.
Having decided as a team that one was not enough we thought it would be rude to not have at least one more. So more were ordered. Most ordered food and sat down for a chat. Hepburn found a week old copy of the Sun Newspaper and decided that the glasses were too small and just drank the jug instead and didn’t speak for the next hour. With the opening ceremony now closed and the bar being rather dull for a Raiders tour it was off to Ringside Bar for something more lively.
Now as the rule of the tours is that “what goes on tour stays on tour” I will not go into the details but suffice to say there was Midget Boxing, Lady Oil wrestling, nudity by more than a couple of Raiders players and a beautifully choreographed wrestling match between HBK (Schreiber) and the Macho Man Randy Savage (Hepburn) who picked up where they left off at Number 5 on Halloween. This match will surely go down as one of the all time greats and a draw seemed a fair result, if only because they got thrown out of the ring so the midget boxing could continue. Some of the more sensible players decided this might be a good time to call it a night so as usual it was left to Potter to keep the night going on his own and for future reference Ringside closes at 6am which is when they finally threw him out.

Saturday – Matchday 1

The first surprise of the day was that everyone was up on time and ready to go. We set off with plenty of time to spare and despite going on a tour of most of Manilla including an early return to the airport with a taxi driver who didn’t know where he was going we managed to arrive on time to get changed and warm up (something unheard of on previous tours).
(forgive me because I cant remember who scored most of the goals)
In the red strips Raiders took to the pitch against Nomads 2nd string for the first game. A solid performance by the team in a 2-1-2 formation meant that the raiders got the first goal and some solid defending by Schreiber and Elawadi meant the opposition had little or no chance to score an equalizer. 1-0 to the Raiders and the first three points of the day.
Game 2 saw the Raiders take to the pitch against the Mongrels and as the commentator stated we looked like Manchester United in our dazzling strips and we were certainly playing that way. Wik was even pointed out to in actual fact be Paul Scholes as Raiders thrashed the Mongrels 4-0 with fantastic performances from Ocon and Loeffler and goals from Colbressi to put six points up on the board from their first 2 games. The sad news was that Schreiber had injured himself in a tackle (hard to believe I know) and would take no further part in the tournament. Reminiscent of Shearer’s early exit from his playing career due to injury this was to be Schreiber’s final performance in a Raider’s shirt. A sad end to a fine career.
Going into the last match Raiders were already through to the Knockout stages and the outcome of the final match would decide who would take top spot. A strong performance against an impressive “Disgusting United” resulted in a draw and Jones came closest to breaking the deadlock with a shot that beat the keeper but bounced down off the bar. Ocon and Wik also flashed shots wide and at the other end Hepburn and Elawadi marshaled the defence with Moras (who for once had finally put some clothes on other than his Speedos) barely called into action.
It finished 0-0 and Raiders went through in second place meaning an additional knockout round the following day would be required. As it turns out this placing was ideal as it put us in the easier bottom half of the draw with many of the stronger teams in the top half.
So day one finished and it was back to the hotel for a wash a nap and to get ready to head back out. Dinner was booked by Schaufler and Philippine food was on the cards for the evening. Raiders arrived in 3 taxis and the now customary argument with the drivers ensued. 2 wanting 150 pesos for the trip and the other demanding 500. once that was sorted however a fine dinner was had by all. Moras even managed to get some “gay juice”. What followed next however was a low point in the Raiders tour history. “what goes on tour stays on tour” however I think this should be told in an effort to ensure such disgusting behavior never occurs again because in my opinion this is quite frankly unacceptable. Raiders went for Coffee. I know what you’re thinking but try to understand that every club goes through its dark times and this sadly happened to be one of them.
After another tour of the city trying to find a certain bar used on previous tours the Raider found themselves in LA Café for a few quite drinks knowing the importance of the day ahead tomorrow. To ensure that noone could drink very much Potter and Loeffler proceeded to spend the next hour arguing over the costs of the vodka options and the barmaid would not get drinks for anyone else until they had made their minds up. Colbressi and Hepburn threatened to break the bottle over their heads if they did not make their minds up and duly went off to the bar to try and order there with little success. Jones ended up ordering a Bar Maid Beer tower for himself so he didn’t have to wait any longer and around 2am Potter and Loeffler finally decided on a bottle of Absolut Kurrant and then proceed to moan because it was not chilled. At this point most gave up and went home. Schaufler and Potter decided to carry on and after a tour of the city with a most irate taxi driver who disagreed over the price and sped up to 90mph through the city centre declaring he was “ready to die” all the Raiders arrived home safe and sound, except Potter who decided to see if any bars were open later than 6am. Much to his disgust there were not and he exited Ringside at 6am again.

Sunday – Matchday 2

Refreshed from their quite night and putting the shame of coffee behind them the raiders were looking pretty fresh (especially Potter who actually never looks any different so if he had gone to bed at 8pm the previous evening noone would have been any the wiser). The team set off in good time and arrived at the pitch where they would don the Diamond white strips and is customary for the final days games. First up for the day of knockouts was Borocay. Raiders were clearly the stronger team and took a commanding 2-0 lead in the first half. Goals from Loeffler and Ocon (to be confirmed) put the Raiders in a commanding position with the injured Schreiber barking orders from the sidelines. The Raiders took their foot off the gas a little in the second half and Borocay clawed one back with a few minutes to go which flew past the unsigheted (and clothed) Moras. Unsighted because Hepburn is determined to stand in front of him all the time so he cant see anything. Despite that setback and Raiders conceding their first goal of the tournament they took the game 2-1 and advanced to the quarterfinals to meet Shanghai Anzacs.
This is the furthest any Raiders team has progressed in the tournament.
The Anzacs certainly had the biggest squad of the tournament in both numbers and size including one player pushing the 7ft mark and a man who was as close to a werewolf as you are likely to see. Affectionately named ‘Manimal’ by the Raiders he was a handy player, and as Raiders would discover later, a machine on the dancefloor. The game was very evenly matched with neither side creating many chances. Colbressi and Ocon and Whik flashed shots past the posts, Jones came close to breaking his duck and Potter narrowly missed as well. Despite this the game ended in deadlock and it was golden goal extra time with 3 vs 3. Moras, Ocon and Loeffler took to the pitch with the rest of the team helpless as they watched on. Both teams had chances and wasted them before Ocon skipped past his marker to feed Loeffler who dispatched his shot into the bottom corner. Raiders win and through to the semis.
The semifinals saw the Raiders take on Top seeds and home team the Manilla Nomads. The game was end to end stuff with both keepers making some superb saves and tackles flying in hard and fast. Arguments started as Colbressi challenged the keeper who felt this was unfair and there were, understandably, some bad decisions by the referee who clearly favoured the home team who were paying his wages. Despite this the game again ended 0-0 and Raider had now finished the semi final having only conceded 2 goals in the entire tournament. So it was again back to golden goal. Moras, Loeffler and Colbressi took to the pitch and again the game flowed back and forth. Loeffler almost put Colbressi through one on one with the keeper but the ball bounced awkwardly and the chance was gone. The Nomads then returned towards the Raiders goal and despite the dive of Moras managed to put the ball into the net. Game over and despite a valiant effort the raiders were out.
The final was played out by Nomads and the defending Shanghai Shooters and again the decisions went the way of the home team. It ended 0-0 as well and was eventually won by the Nomads on golden goal. Prior to that Raiders had a penalty shootout against the Singapore Swiss. Jones, Loeffler and Potter (with the ramifications of Jones breaking his duck to be discussed with his wife) all scored to put it into sudden death. Ocon missed and Moras (who rebutted please to take part in just boots gloves and Speedos) just failed to keep out the next one to mean Raiders finished in 4th place.
A great performance considering there were 24 strong teams.
The trophies were handed out. Some were missing from the awards but a great time was had by all. All that was left was to go out and have one last night in Manilla.
So dinner was first on the agenda. Having left the first restaurant, which was a steak house, because they didn’t have any steak we settled on a medieval place which served up some quite delicious food. Potter once again had Garlic Bread.
Then it was on to the Bars where we bumped into the Shanghai Anzacs and duly watched a 15 minute dancing extravaganza by Manimal shortly followed by another on from Schreiber who’s ankle seemed to have recovered right after the games finished.
Most were home before sunrise except potter who finally found a bar that was open 24 hrs and the following day with heavy hearts and stiff bodies the Raiders set off for the airport with a detour to McDonalds that everyone had been waiting for.
Everyone fell asleep on the plane and a few made it to Number 5 for a quiet drink before heading home. Potter once again had Garlic bread.
Fantastic time had by all great football played and everyone did the club proud (apart from the coffee incident)

Awards are as follows –
BEST DRESSED TEAM OF THE TOURNAMENT – Saigon Raiders
MOST NAKED PERSON OF THE TOURNAMENT – Angelo Moras
Runner Up – Fraser Hepburn
Best Goalkeeper of the tournament – Angelo Moras
Best Raider of the Tournament – Everyone
Best Sport – Hanh Jones (who took everything in her stride with a smile on her face
Most Photogenic Saigon Raider – Angelo Moras

Special mention goes to the following;
Richard Schreiber who now departs for the US of A following a sterling service to the club over the years. We hope to see you back at future tournaments.
Justin Colbressi for organising everything to ensure we actually took part. Good effort mate.

Great time had by all and hopefully the Raiders can go all the way next year.

Fraser