Phu Quoc 2013

News Home »
News

By Anthony Roberti

The Saigon Raiders headed to Phu Quoc Island’s Mango Bay Resort in hopes of winning the Mango Bay Cup which eluded them last season. The Raiders were fresh as daisies and sober as judges on the morning of the tournament (a rare sight considering the painful hangovers of Cambodia, KL, Manila, and Bangkok). With most of the Raiders flying in at 7:30 a.m. it was difficult to have a night out, but that didn’t stop Craig who boasted “I only had 3 beers…and 5 shots of Jaeger”. Two hours sleep was enough for him.

Nico arrived fashionably late like the supermodel he is. We thought he was caught up signing autographs at the now International Airport, but we soon realized that he was checking out the local facilities. Mango Bay is an eco-friendly resort that does not believe in air conditioning, toilet paper, among other things.

A new ring of Raiders tournament hell was discovered by me. I had experienced the heat of Manila, and I had heard of how difficult Phu Quoc was. I soon learned. To start, the difficulty began with the draw. Jon Hoff was our representative for the draw and we all agreed to blame him for being drawn in the more challenging of the two groups. We were placed in the group with two difficult Vietnamese teams, SASCO (taxi company or air services company? Taxi company!) and the Mango Bay Midgets…errr Staff. The other group was Phu Quoc Celtic, some French superheroes (Spiderman/Luke With Hair), and Flipper Diving Company.

Raiders faced a SASCO team that had just beaten Mango Bay Staff. It was a close affair that ended in a 0-0 draw. We walked away knowing that we could definitely play better, and we repeated our strategies of how to play. The pitch proved difficult to play on, a mix of bumpy short grass, the occasional sand-filled ditch, and dirt (and we were playing on the better of the two pitches).

Next we faced Mango Bay’s U5’0 Squad, comprised of the resort’s best talent who back home would be considered legal midgets. It should be noted that we went into this tournament with a very good squad, and we were expecting to thrash our opposition with a Kim Jon Un-style fiery sea of goals. So drawing the first match goalless we were feeling a bit delusional. We went 1-0 down and it looked like we were going to lose it, until LJ10 put in a low cross that was tapped in by Craig (The Postman had even been taken out of his name as he had not even hit the post in a long time). Raiders statisticians disagreed on the exact number of minutes, but it was agreed that Craig definitely played more than 6 hours without scoring any goals. Despite his barren season as a striker, Craig kept our hopes of getting through the group stage alive with his late equalizer (yes that’s a z).

The Raiders, especially Angelo were starting to feel the heat. It was then decided that Angelo would take a siesta and I would go into goal. We played against SASCO again and won thanks to an LJ10 penalty, and a free kick late in the match. Having beaten SASCO who were the defending champions and arguably one of the best teams there (ed – well yes, they did win the thing), the Raiders had a new level of confidence.

We went into the second match against Mango Bay sans Angelo. We were just beginning to come to life and the Mango Bay team seemed to be falling asleep. We scored 3 to their 1, as they posed little threat to us. Nico even managed to score from the halfway line. I know what you’re thinking, it must have been a cracker, but really it was more of a fizzler, what one Raider even called “a lucky pass that just happened to roll in”. Oh well, the Raiders just happened to win their group!

After our own hot siesta under fans that blew slower than my 50-yard dash, we took to the pitch to play the second place team from the other group, Flipper Diving Co. Albin came alive in this match, continually losing his man and scoring 3 goals, two of which were from headers on throw-ins (EDIT – actually Albin scored two, Hoff got one). He could have scored another two or three. The Flippers did not offer much of a challenge and we easily progressed into the final where we would again face SASCO.

We also enjoyed watching The French Avengers (& Luke) play against Mango Bay to determine last place. It went to penalties, and Luke’s penalty was the talk of the Raiders. Slow, straight, and directly at the keeper is not often where a penalty goes, but that was how Luke’s went. Some Raiders ridiculed Spiderman for this one and we were all happy that he was taking this penalty for another team and not Raiders.

With the final approaching and the sun not going anywhere, Angelo was really not feeling well. The heat mixed with hitting his head on the crossbar while making a save had taken its toll on him, and I was told to play in goal for the final. Craig was questionable for the final, as the two hours of sleep he had gotten was not enough. Paddy was cramping up and was doubtful. Nico was on the injured list with a broken nail (yes, seriously).

We went into the Cup Final looking haggard, feeling haggard, and having to face the defending champions who we had beaten and drawn with earlier in the day. The drama of the match started when a long ball and a player sneaked behind our defense and I (already meters off my line) ran out of the area and handled the ball. In my defense the lines were difficult to see, and the heat and exhaustion had nearly melted my brain… I received a yellow card and their free kick sailed well over the bar. We continued to push on and looked slightly the better of the two teams for the first half, shooting, but not hitting the target.

The second half saw the weakened Raiders come under a heavy attack from the taxi drivers. Still 0-0, they were determined to score as they pressured us and kept the ball in our half. We tried to muster some counter attacks, but their keeper was doing a good job of stopping us. I had my work cut out for me as they were climbing all over us and our defense which had been so good throughout the tournament started to get sloppy. Luckily some of their best players lacked finishing and they notched misses that flew over the bar from close range. There were also a number of close range shots that I responded to with kick saves that David De Gea would be envious of. Despite the heavy barrage of shots, I managed to keep the goal empty. I was already starting to think of it going to penalties…I was already thinking of keeping the clean sheet. I love clean sheets, I never have clean sheets at home…it’d be great to have a clean sheet for once in my life as a keeper… I was on fire. Nothing was getting into the back of the net. I was a wall of flesh, bones, muscle, a little bit of fat. The audience was amazed. The SASCO fans were cursing their players for being unable to score. They were frustrated and the clock was ticking towards the end of regular time. I was already hearing the chants of my teammates in my head “USA! USA! USA!” It was then that I saw Angelo come over and I was subbed off and replaced by our real #1.

From the sideline I could get a better vantage point of a real piece of Raiders history. For it was from there that I saw one of the most heroic, smart, cowardly, and stupid actions I have ever seen on a football pitch. I have heard of soldiers throwing their entire body over a grenade to save the lives of their comrades. This upcoming sight was up there in acts of bravery…well sort of. Our hero (or culprit) was Paddy. SASCO was attacking on the right side, two of their players ran past Paddy, the player with the ball was in front of him and getting past him and just entering the penalty area. It was there that Paddy turned and then fell onto the ball almost as if he had cramped up and his legs just stopped working or in reality he just wanted stop the ball any way he could. With arms out he covered the ball with his belly. The opposing team of course protested, and the referee did not think twice about pointing to the spot for yet another controversial handball. If Maradona’s was “The Hand of God”, Paddy’s was “The Belly of Buddha”.

Angelo unluckily guessed the wrong way on the penalty, and SASCO had a soft 1-0 lead over Raiders with few minutes left to play. As if getting sent off in his last league match wasn’t enough, Joe “The Butcher” Dawson thought it fitting to put a hockey-styled body check on their #10 as he tried to run through our defensive line. The poor guy had to limp off the pitch and the referee blew the final whistle. So overexerted from the heat and the day’s matches, I thought we still had another half to play, but no, that was it. Finito. SASCO unceremoniously took their cup and vanished down the dirt road to back driving taxis.

The Raiders lost their banner, the cave cheese ball (possibly?), and their pride. SASCO taxis brought us back to Mango Bay Resort where Paddy (still dirty and sweaty in his full kit) was seen wandering around in a daze, Angelo was vomiting, and Nico was trying to secure a manicure/pedicure appointment before dinner. The Raiders enjoyed a nice soak in the warm ocean with beers. The fun of family, friendship, salt water, and alcohol eased the bruises of defeat and the occasional cramping up of muscles that everyone seemed to be experiencing.

Ronan and the Mango Bay Staff (particularly the midget that Craig almost got into it with) served up a great barbecue and handed out rewards for us. In Raiders terms it was a quiet evening. I returned bag to my room when I saw that bottles of cheap rum had been purchased. Others returned when their wives got electrocuted, or their daughters got cranky, or they couldn’t drink anymore cheap rum. I wasn’t there to see it, but I heard that Luke was barely able to walk up 3 stairs, and I was happily awoken by Paddy who seemingly just wanted to ask “How ’bout ya?”

All in all a great time with the Raiders family!