The Raiders arrived in Manila confident that based upon the squad they had assembled they could legitimately compete for the Trophy (naïve or alcohol fueled you decide). The shock troops of the Saigon invasion force arrived on the Friday morning, Patrick Phillips, Craig Armitt and Anthony Roberti where given clear instructions from the captain ‘Don’t get too drunk and make sure you get some sleep!’ Clearly something was lost in translation as our plan to sleep upon arrival at 4am was ruined by the news that we couldn’t check in until 2pm. So it was we found ourselves drinking beer. That night we attended the opening party for the tournament (they offered free beer which I think was a clever tactic by the local teams) before hitting the dark side of Manila. Our veteran Keeper Angelo and his compatriot Guiseppi failed to meet with the hardcore element and instead had a quiet chicken takeaway alone at the hotel. What happened in Manila is a blur but midget/women boxing refereed by Paddy, strippers, shot’s of tequila and a night club where you actually had to show id (apparently white skin outside of Vietnam isn’t a ‘legitimate’ form of id) resulted in us arriving back at the hotel at 5am. Good start.

The rest of the squad had flown in during the red eye flight and after a similar lack of sleep were waiting anxiously in the lobby read to leave for the pitch Friday morning. Sasha, Johan and Niko had intelligently booked early check in. Everyone was ready apart from the Irishman. Frantic calls to his hotel room eventually produced a red eyed mess that insisted ‘here, I can play’ (The last time I saw him on Friday he was stood silently freaking out a group of girls in McDonalds clearly lacking the power of speech)

The Raiders were talking up their chances of winning the tournament then the first game kicked off….. mother of god, the heat. Playing the first game at 2pm under a merciless sun against a local team the Raiders struggled, in our defence it was a big pitch for 6 a side and the midfield and strikers struggled to shut down space and get any rhythm to their game. Niko, Craig and Johan where on a 1 minute sub rotation as after every sprint legs were exhausted. The game finished 3-1 to the Manila Nomads B and a sobering start for the Raiders.

Our next game pitted us against a Japanese team from Manila who after speaking to other locals we felt was a very winnable game. Vincent had also arrived to provide much needed substitutes. It started well with Craig getting a classic strikers goal from a quick Niko corner getting in front of his man. The Raiders then dominated the first half putting pressure on their midfield early before Angleo fumbled a long ranged effort into his goal. Half time 1-1 and the Raiders knew this was must win game. The second half became frustrating as the Japanese commited needless fouls and time wasted causing even Sasha to confront one of their player chest out. We were then treated to a collector’s item, a second mistake from Angelo in one game in an almost identical manner to the first goal, 2-1. In pushing for an equaliser the raiders then conceded a 3rd goal and our chance of lifting the cup was over. Heads were down after this defeat as we all knew we should have won and that we hadn’t played up to our potential.

Our final game was against Taipai Badgers a group who clearly had arrived with one thing on their mind…drinking. We had seen them on the Friday at 11am extremely worse for wear and they had continued drinking all day Saturday so that by the time we played them it was basically a training session. The raiders showed no mercy and put 8 past them with Niko particularly drawing shouts of ‘Fuck up that number 8!’ from their team as he scored 5. Smelling a first ever goal for the raiders Paddy went up front…that’s when it happened. Niko floated in a cross and Patrick was there all alone unmarked sensing glory he attempted the campest overhead kick attempt I have ever had the misfortune to witness and then proceeded to fall over his own feet, cue hilarity amongst both teams. Oh he then scored a decidedly average goal after being presented with numerous chances triggering wild celebrations and a pile on during which Angelo attempted to re-align Craig’s spine using only a pair of football boots. The badgers were a great group of lads and a lot of fun to play against and drink with after. So 8-0 and the largest win of the day by any team restored some pride and meant we could hit the town again on Saturday night. We started with a civilised meal before trawling Borges st looking for cheap alcohol and cheaper women. We had one mission get Vincent ‘Vin Diesel’ Coker drunk. Another night of strippers, lasers, hats, guitars, tasers, tequila, Anthony’s Russian dancing, birthday’s and retellings of Paddy’s goal ensued with Vincent remaining undefeated. Of particular note was a spontaneous live sex show between a white girl tourist and stripper which stopped the Raiders in their tracks, we salute you whoever you are.

The second day started as the first with Paddy again missing in action. This time it was decided to leave him and hope he found his own way to the pitch. He did arrive and was still under the influence as he drunkenly treated our newly acquired Philipino girl supporters to his ‘Irish banter’. (See quotes below). Despite arriving so late we didn’t even warm up the Raiders put in arguably their best performance beating Red Star Bangkok 3-0. Our passing and movement was excellent with the defence putting in tackles when needed. Johan who was a constant threat running with the ball and showed deadly finishing throughout the weekend scored 2 before Craig completed the win with another goal.

So we were through to the Semi final’s of the Plate and were up against HK Squadron who were an alarmingly big team of expats. During the first half despite having the better of the play the Raiders somehow found themselves 2-0 down and at half time it was felt if we kept creating chances we would get back into the game. HK squadron chose the dangerous tactic of passing the ball around in their own half and with good pressure and goals from Niko and Johan the Raiders were level and clearly in the ascendency. Then it happened….again…only PADDY will ever know what went through his head. HK had one player in our half due to the constant Raiders pressure, Paddy was closest to him and was being shouted at by Angelo, Craig and Sasha to drop back and mark him. He didn’t. One long ball over the top later it was 3-2. Cue the classic Moras post kicking and rant in Italian. Despite our best efforts we couldn’t equalise again and we were out.

There were some very good teams at the tournament and whilst we would always have struggled to win it the team were left with a sense that we had at least played better on the second day (get drunk before every game from now on?) and restored some pride. The Hot Shots went on to lose in the final of the plate despite our support of ‘What would Ho Chi Minh do?’. We were then treated to a crate of beer to relax with in the sun and enjoy the rest of the tournament, it was a great way to end the weekend and talk to all the other teams. Claire Bear (see picture) treated the players to some tequila’s (why stop on a Sunday) and with our feet freezing in a bucket of ice for minutes (Craig/Anthony) or seconds (Paddy/Sasha) or milliseconds (Niko) we drank our well earned beers and watched the Manila Nomads win their home tournament in the Final.

Player of the Tournament: Johan

Quotes: ‘YOU USELESS FUCKING CUNT!!!’ the loudest and most heart felt put down to a referee I have ever witnessed. Unknown player for HK squadron.

‘I’ve put two different flavours in at the same time. It’s like a wee orgasm in my mouth!’ Paddy’s Irish banter after putting two mints into his mouth.

‘Do you wax your chest?’ Niko Greeves

‘We are tired I think we will go home now.’ Angelo and Guiseppi suspiciously soon after buying ‘supplies’.

‘PADDY, PADDY, PADDY!!! GET BACK!!!’ I don’t need to elaborate.

‘ID??? Look at the state of us!’ Anthony, Craig and Paddy are bemused to find that they need ID.

‘Do you have hats? Guitars? Lasers?’ The team find amusement in confusing street sellers outside the bar.